Thank you for your help!
Thank you for your interest in sponsoring a zombie! For just a small monthly contribution, you can help us to feed and rehabilitate a previously-unloved zombie so that he or she (or it) can find a new, loving home.
Every month, you will receive updated pictures and a status report on your zombie's progress. If your zombie still has its original vocal apparatus, you will also receive a recording of your zombie thanking you for your assistance and telling you about its latest exploits. Once rehabilitation is complete, you will be given the first opportunity to adopt your sponsored zombie, making it a permanent part of your family.
It doesn't have to be much. Even a dollar or two a month -- less than the price of a cup of coffee -- can help. Of course, the more you can spare,* the better off your zombie will be, and the more zombies we can rescue from miserable, abusive, and exploitative environments. Won't you help us with our mission?
* Don't forget that all contributions are tax-deductible to the maximum extent permitted by law.